One night strolling down my New York pig sty I heard a large moan, as if something large had just moaned somewhere. I turned on my flashlight to discover a group of animals having sex near a playground, all these animals were not very privy to my curious attitude, and all of them made a gargling noise in my general direction and started to run in circles. As any wise man would do, I chased after them, I couldn't capture all of them but i tackled a unicorn so hard that his head fell off, but under his head was a human head.  i was taken aback and shouted "UNICORN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT HUMAN HEAD?!" he then swiftly upper cutted me in the teeth, i spat out my wad of gum and knocked out his lights by throwing my trusty flashlight at him. My rampage was violent and swift, i grabbed a nearby stick and shoved it down the gullet of a rabbit, he whistled and promptly died forever. 

This angered the other animals a lot as they advanced on my position. i lopped off heads left and right with my metaphorical katana, but then one whipped out a proverbial glock and shot me in the cheek. Through the pain i did as any sane man would do, i pulled out the bullet and chucked it back at the mother fucker, forcing him to join the rest of his heathen buddies in hell. i skinned every little furry fucker within a 2 front and now i sit on their carcasses-turned-to-furniture when i write these stories. it just smells really bad. i also dropped out of school that day.