I was walking down my campus one day as i like to get in a bit of exercise from time to time and air out the armpits as i can't afford the luxury of deodorant as most civil humans can. and then along came molly. she was the most gorgeous girl i had witnessed in my existence. i was an atheist but the way it would almost appear that she had an ever fluorescent aura  surrounding her made me want to believe in angels. and as easy as she came she disappeared through a large crowd of bros and hoes. i rushed through the crowd to find this vixen and make her mine but i left the crowd disappointed and drenched in the smell of Axe body spray.

i went back to my lair and cried for hours on end. i could barely sleep or eat as the thoughts of the maiden filled my brain to the point where no other needs could be processed by it. i decided to order a pizza, alas 30 minutes later almost as if a miracle occurred, there she was at my door. beautiful flowing hair and eyes as wide as the moon. the pleasure made me feel as though i were being showered in bengay. she slowly opened her luscious lips of lavender and softly spoke "that will be 14 dollars please". i quickly grabbed my rope, tied her up and threw her in my basement. i jumped the entire flight of stairs down and broke both my legs in the attempt. but it was worth it. i gazed into her eyes deeply while eating the pizza, her screams only making me eat the pizza even harder. i attempted to graze her cheek with a gentle kiss but she bit my nose, so i broke her knee caps with a wooden mallet. she began to cry the most sorrowful tears ever witnessed and i began to weep as well, where she replied with a swift kick to my balls and ran away, i ripped the wings off of a fly and pursued her, at which point iACCIDENTALLY MURDERED HER AND BURIED THE BODY. i got grounded for like a week.