I knew from the second that she walked into my office that she was trouble she seemed familiar but I didn't know where from, A dolly that looked like that couldn't be anything but trouble. She had on a tight red dress over a body that screamed  walk away or suffer the consequences.

"What can I do for you ?" I asked as I perused the playground under the dress,  her  rollercoaster and funslide barely concealed.

"I need to hire you Mr Head, for a very sensitive problem."

"What might that be?"


"I need you to find something that was stolen from me by a very famous and powerful person"

"What might that be?"

"A book that has been in my family for generations and I want it back"

"Give me the details and I'll see what I can do " I told her and sent her on her way,


Well I was right this dame was nothing but trouble I searched high and low for 3 months and finally got a lead to who had her book. When I called her i said to meet me at Hollywood and Vine. We met and made our way towards the suspects house and I knocked loudly on the door to confront the person.

When the door was answered a butler led us into the kitchen and who should be there but Martha Stewart making a fucking pot roast with all the trimmings!

"Excuse me Ms Stewart but there must be a mistake here I have traced an old family book to this location and I wondered if you had any idea where it might be?"

"No I don't" she said

Just then the dame said "You're a lying bitch! I would know that potroast anywhere"

Martha said, "You just couldn't let it go could you Giada" Pullled out a gun and started waving it around and screaming you crazy Italian bitch this is my recipe! Then she shot Giada Delaurentis right in the face.

"What the fuck , what did you do?" I yelled.

"Relax" Martha said, " I'll give you a Million dollars to forget about this"

I said. "OK, but what about the body?"

Don't worry Andrew Zimmer lives next door.

Surfing the Food Channel

MjrF