How To Own Idiots On The Internets: Part 3
shylilazn
Published
06/29/2014
I've received a lot of feedback from my fans about my previous blogs. I agree that this could be part of a book, and I would probably make millions on in. My articles have become a hit and inspired a lot of people. In today's episode we're gonna learn how to use the alt obsessed trolls to your advantage.
First, I'll explain what an alt is, because some of you might not know. An alt is an alternate account, often made to support your main account. The reasons people make alts could be to rate up their stuff, rate down others or to make an impression that someone likes them, or hates someone else.
Among the obsessed Bitches you might encounter, you'll often find someone who pays a lot of attention to alts. Meaning, they would try to convince others that the feedback you receive is from your alts, your friends are actually your alts (pretty much any newer user that defends you is automatically your alt) or that you're some other user as well. The irony here is that the people who are obsessed with alts are the ones using a ton of alts, which also explains why they know so much about the alt mechanics.
How do you own your Bitch when they are obsessed with alts? There's several ways of doing that.
1. Actually use alts
You probably didn't know this, but you can be on more than one account at once - you can log in from different browsers, or use an incognito window in Chrome or Opera. What for? When your hater starts whining about you, you can instantly thumb them down 3 or 4 times and thumb yourself up. What for? Not to make people think you're getting a lot of feedback. It's to make your Bitch get mad and point out that you're using alts. What will they do? Most likely keep switching alts to thumb you down. At some point they'll be on 7 or more accounts to thumb you down instantly, and that's when your every comment gets -7 thumbs down or so. They're gonna keep switching between tabs to do this shit, while you kick back and enjoy the show, as some retard struggles to thumb you down, and help your comments get attention.
2. Ask your friend to punk your hater
It's very easy. You ask someone you know to, for example, reply to your hater's comment (they often have reply notifications set to send them an email and/or personal message). So your hater calls you names, your friend replies with a comeback, which they quickly delete. Then you make that same comment from your account. Your obsessed Bitch is going to receive 2 messages saying 2 accounts made the same comment, but one of these comments is deleted. They'll of course think that you made a mistake and commented from the wrong account and keep whining about it. This is pretty much 100% effective.
3. Punk your hater with a intended slip up
There's a discussion between your Bitch and someone? Reply to your Bitch's comment from your account, like you're the person he was talking to. It's especially effective when that person uses a peculiar writing style, much different from yours, which you copy. For better effect, delete your comment after 1 minute or so.
4. Hate on yourself from an alt
This is a great maneuver, because an obsessed Bitch would rarely even check an alt that would hate on their biggest obsession. So you make an account where you say some shit about you - and either confuse your Bitch or become friends with them. This is especially hilarious when your Bitch thinks that your alt hates you as much as they do and shares their plans with you.
5. The I got banned! Trick
Many of the people who are obsessed with you are often very touchy about getting banned. It's funny especially on Ebaumsworld where you can get your account banned for a week or a month or even one day, but you can get on an alt and comment unaffected. So what you do is get on an alt and cry about how your main got banned by the shitty mods and how they were butt hurt and how unrighteous it is. Your Bitch is most likely gonna bite and start whining about how you got banned for this and that. After half an hour or so you comment from your main account and you make fun of your Bitch getting owned or punk them even more saying that you're unbanned.
That's only a few ideas for what you can do to make your Bitch seem even more obsessed with you. Have fun!
First, I'll explain what an alt is, because some of you might not know. An alt is an alternate account, often made to support your main account. The reasons people make alts could be to rate up their stuff, rate down others or to make an impression that someone likes them, or hates someone else.
Among the obsessed Bitches you might encounter, you'll often find someone who pays a lot of attention to alts. Meaning, they would try to convince others that the feedback you receive is from your alts, your friends are actually your alts (pretty much any newer user that defends you is automatically your alt) or that you're some other user as well. The irony here is that the people who are obsessed with alts are the ones using a ton of alts, which also explains why they know so much about the alt mechanics.
How do you own your Bitch when they are obsessed with alts? There's several ways of doing that.
1. Actually use alts
You probably didn't know this, but you can be on more than one account at once - you can log in from different browsers, or use an incognito window in Chrome or Opera. What for? When your hater starts whining about you, you can instantly thumb them down 3 or 4 times and thumb yourself up. What for? Not to make people think you're getting a lot of feedback. It's to make your Bitch get mad and point out that you're using alts. What will they do? Most likely keep switching alts to thumb you down. At some point they'll be on 7 or more accounts to thumb you down instantly, and that's when your every comment gets -7 thumbs down or so. They're gonna keep switching between tabs to do this shit, while you kick back and enjoy the show, as some retard struggles to thumb you down, and help your comments get attention.
2. Ask your friend to punk your hater
It's very easy. You ask someone you know to, for example, reply to your hater's comment (they often have reply notifications set to send them an email and/or personal message). So your hater calls you names, your friend replies with a comeback, which they quickly delete. Then you make that same comment from your account. Your obsessed Bitch is going to receive 2 messages saying 2 accounts made the same comment, but one of these comments is deleted. They'll of course think that you made a mistake and commented from the wrong account and keep whining about it. This is pretty much 100% effective.
3. Punk your hater with a intended slip up
There's a discussion between your Bitch and someone? Reply to your Bitch's comment from your account, like you're the person he was talking to. It's especially effective when that person uses a peculiar writing style, much different from yours, which you copy. For better effect, delete your comment after 1 minute or so.
4. Hate on yourself from an alt
This is a great maneuver, because an obsessed Bitch would rarely even check an alt that would hate on their biggest obsession. So you make an account where you say some shit about you - and either confuse your Bitch or become friends with them. This is especially hilarious when your Bitch thinks that your alt hates you as much as they do and shares their plans with you.
5. The I got banned! Trick
Many of the people who are obsessed with you are often very touchy about getting banned. It's funny especially on Ebaumsworld where you can get your account banned for a week or a month or even one day, but you can get on an alt and comment unaffected. So what you do is get on an alt and cry about how your main got banned by the shitty mods and how they were butt hurt and how unrighteous it is. Your Bitch is most likely gonna bite and start whining about how you got banned for this and that. After half an hour or so you comment from your main account and you make fun of your Bitch getting owned or punk them even more saying that you're unbanned.
That's only a few ideas for what you can do to make your Bitch seem even more obsessed with you. Have fun!
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