are you the messiah, because i've been waiting for you

do you want to shake my luluv?

don't worry i won't passover you

can i light your manorah?

do you want to try for 9 crazy nights?

yum kippur

do you want something to attone for on yom kippur?

want to party in my sukkah?

can i go into the promised land?

are you the milk or the honey i was promised?

you bring the apples i'll bring the honey

which commandment do you want to brake?

can i come into your massada?

God just told me there was going to be a flood and i've decided to save you

i may not be elisha but will you open the door anyway

can i go into you garden of eden?

that's not a magilla in my pants, it's all me

want to go fiddle on a roof?

can i put out your burning bush?

lets do it adam and eve style, behinde some bushes

God told us to go forth and multiply and i feel some thing going forth and multiplying as we speak

do you want to see the mouel's handy work?

can i put it in your diaspora?

once you go jew no christian will do

i would love to wonder in your wilderness for 40 years

you must not be kosher for passover because you're makeing my matza rise

if i raise my staff will it only part the sea?

do you want to blow my shofar

can i look for your horns?

do you want to try my hebrew national hotdog?

do you want to spin my dreidel?

hey baby, if you think my nose is big...

or

you know what they say about guys with big noses

Girl, I finally understand the true meaning of the Sabbath, its to give a girl a rest from running through my mind the rest of the week.

Why is this night different than all other nights? I'll show you why...

That's a nice-looking yarmulke you're wearing, but it would look even better lying next to my bed tomorrow morning.

Got any Jewish in you? . . . Want some?

I'll take you to the promise land.

All I want for Channukah, is you.

Let me see your shirt tag, that's right, made in Eden.

wanna find the afikomen?

Let's have a party, we'll all dance the Hora.

I love Tu B'Shvat, cuz I love bush.

If I said you had a nice lulav, would you hold it against me?

Is your Sukkah kosher? Cause the only stars I can see are in your eyes

I see that you are dancing with the Torah. Mind if I cut in?

The first line of the Shma commands us to "Love the Lord with all your heart." After meeting you, I don't think I can keep that mitzvah.

In this shul, women are not called up to the torah. May I call you up at home?

Pray here often

A woman like you makes me wish our mechitza were see-through.

Just like the Ner Tamid, my love for you burns eternal.

I hope you're not married, because I'd hate to be breaking the Tenth Commandment right here in shul.

Got any Jewish in you? . . . Want some?

When you come to my house, the Mezuzah isn't the only thing you will be touching!

Man, I can feel your menorah burning!

Does your door open at the seder?

Even though it's breaking a commandment, I'm worshipping you right now.

As opposed to the Torah, you can hold in more places than the handles.

My apples are just dying for your honey!

do u believe in god cause you just found one

how about you and i make the dead sea cum alive

chai beautiful

can i dip my maror in your charoset

This saltwater reminds me of the tears that came to my eyes when i first saw you

Wait up, I don't want kids, so i need a different kind of kippah.

hey whale, do you wanna swallow my jonah?

The gates of repentance are always open...just like my heart for you

Did it hurt when you wrestled with Jacob (because you're an angel)!

If your left leg is Rosh Hashanah and your right leg is Yom Kippur, can I visit you during the days of Awe?

You had me at Shalom

If I unwrapped your gelt would you let me have a taste?

Funny, I don't remember climbing Jacob's ladder, so how did I end up in heaven?

I don't care what the Torah says, I'm not leaving any of your four corners unplowed.

being a jew isnt the only thing thats hard

if you think i got lost in the desert for 40 years try looking in your eyes

after getting lost for 40 years ive think ive finally found what i was looking for

pass the manoschovitz.lets get fershnicket

save a camel ride a jew

I can't wait for Rosh Hashanah, cuz to start the new year I want some rosh

Girl, i wish you were a torah, so i could undress you and run my yad all up and down your columns...

I'd like to be the greeks in the Hannukah story and ransack your temple

I'd buy you for two zuzim!

my shtetel or your's

how bout i play moses and u play with my staff

Unlike the torah, im gunna put my hands all over you

are u bat mitzvahed, cuz i need a woman?

i've got a penny in my pants...

is that a mezuzah in your pocket or are u just happy to see me?

You must bring out a whole new meaning to Chanukkah, cuz the fire in our eyes will never burn out!

psalm 81:10, "Open your mouth wide and I will fill it"

Rub my kepe

don't look at me like i'm a falaful, i have feelings

can i put my chickapees in your pita

where's ur affeokomen hidden?

i can use some 8 crazy nights with u....

friday night, no work...but can we still play...in the dark?

I have a steady, well paying job

i'll make your matzo dough rise...

wanna read your torah portion with my yad?

The first line of the Shma commands us to "Love the Lord with all your heart." After meeting you, I don't think I can keep that mitzvah.

keeping all the mizvot isn't the only thing thats hard

i hate it when you say shalom but i love watching you walk away

you've got a putz for on your face (whats a putz for) i'll show you.

I wanna have lots of children by you....I wanna get a stable, good-paying job...I want to move to Long Island, somewhere fancy, but not fancy schmancy, I want for our children to go to private schools. Abraham will go to Yale. Little Isaac will go somewhere Ivy League, maybe Vassar. And everyday, I want you to tell me what to do...when I should do it...and how I should live my fucking life

can i drink from your miriam's cup before we go to shul

it might not be kosher but i'd pork you

I've got a Tekiah Gadolah

Yeah, I see three stars, but two of them are in your eyes

You're sweeter than Manischewitz.

why do they make 2 piece bikinis? to separate the dairy from the meat!!

let's re-enact passover. your pharo and i'm a frog that jumps all over you

gal i'm serving in the IDF & that's not the only thing that's hard

If you wore taffilin, would you start to put it on on this shoulder (Touch the shoulder nearest you) or THIS shoulder? (Put arm around her)

I wanna put my note in your kotel baby

We can do it until it Herzl.

Can I see your Lower East Side?

if your right leg is passover and your left leg is shavuot, lets get together during the omer