Once upon a time on June 8th 1985 I was born.  24 years later I realized I am still alive.   Time to celebrate.  I want to go to a strip club but since the last time was my first time seeing a vagina, it really didn't live up to all the hype that I was expecting.  For my birthday I always wanted a watch since my last one battery died either that or all of space time continuum has stopped. My dad woke me up and he took my left hand and drew a clock reading 3:15pm.  He told me that the time he drew will be right at least twice a day.  It actually works. True story I swear.  Right now I am eating my cake that my sister made.  No she is not hot, even though everyone thinks so...frinking sickos!!!  My mom lit the candles and told me to make a wish.  I did just that but the wish didn't come true because I still have cerebral palsy.  That's the 24th time my wish didn't come true.