Don't disappoint your dad again this Father's Day with a lame-ass last-minute gift. Order one of these awesome last-minute gifts that tells your dad, "Hey, I'm not a loser: I have a credit card and an internet connection!"

1) Digital Breathalyzer

This gift says, "I appreciate all the rides to soccer practice, but we've been collecting a lot of mailboxes along the way."

2) Renova Black Toilet Paper

Your dad will feel like he's wiping his ass with a tuxedo with the Renova Black 6-Pack. Enjoy the stark sophistication of accidentally breaking through 100% ebony parchment toilet paper with your finger.

3) Mortal Peril Electronic Drinking Game

It works like spin the bottle, except instead of breaking his vows to his dead-eyed wife, dad makes out with the bottle.

4) Poop Freeze Aerosol Spray

The pride your dad has in the size of his BMs is rivaled by none because it's the closest he'll ever get to really giving birth. Help dad save his pride and joy until he can get it to a plaster cast to make a statue.

5) Heinz Spotted Dick Sponge Pudding

Make everyone laugh at the comparison between this can of English food-matter and that thing your dad used to make you. Goes great with vagina custard.

6) Lowrey's Bacon Curls Microwave Pork Rinds

Get this Father's Day gift to let everyone know you love your dad FOR WHO HE IS - not for his ARTERIES.Lowrey's microwave pork rinds, original hot & crispy, bacon curls, chicharrones, 1.75-oz. packet

7) Eastman Outdoors 38237 Jerky and Sausage Gun Kit with 5 Extra Nozzles

Perfect for the grim, square jawed patriarch who doesn't mince around with indoor sausage stuffers. This Outdoors Eastman can be stripped and disassembled in under 30 seconds; ensuring victory for your father in the coming sausage wars.

8) The Gun Mug