And now a word from our sponsors!

 

Man: I have genital herpes!

Woman: and I don't, and I'd like to…wait…what the fuck?  YOU SICK SHIT!

Man: what?.....I take the pill to greatly reduce outbreaks!

Woman: oh…..well…..well is it a cure or something?

Man: lol nah, there's no cure for genital her….is that a gun?

Woman:…..run…..

There's pills out now for fucking EVERYTHING….restless legs, dead penis, bleeding eyes….retaining memories…..

But what if I didn't want to retain memories?  What if my childhood was something like this:

 

I remember this one time with my grandfather…

it was a beautiful summer day…

we had just got back from a fishing trip…

he was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee…

I walked by and he put his hand on my shoulder as I did...squeezed slightly....and looked at me and smiled…

he took a deep drink with his other hand and sat me on his lap

then he leaned in and said:

"AND IF YOU TELL ANYONE I'LL CUT YOUR FAT FUCIKIN HEART OUT DO YOU HEAR ME!!!!!"

ahh...memories like that shouldn't really be kept…even for the sake of sanity.

There's really absolutely nothing on my mind tonight, it's rare to have no worries.  I had a fucked up dream today, and like all of my dreams, I only remember pieces of it and then I try to put them all together, when in fact they were several independent ones, it's kinda like watching 6 movies stoned out of your fucking mind, and then trying to tell someone about it, example: Butterfly Effect and Harry potter = the Harry Potter Effect

 

"see there was this kid man, he was abused by his relatives cuz he killed his parents with some fireworks in a mailbox, then he find out that he's magical, so he goes through time trying to right what once went wrong…..wait….wtf?"

 

I don't know where Quantum Leap came from, it just sort of fit… but anyway, I remember that I was sitting outside of a food shop, talking to this guy, then all of the sudden he starts explaining to me why he's here, but as he's talking to me, he's stomping on my nuts….and I don't do anything about it.  Then I'm sitting in my old high school science class, but we're not allowed to use chairs or desks, we had to 'mime sit' in the air and some big ass mongaloid retard comes in who is about 8 feet tall, and as soon as he sits down, I jump on him and start head butting him…. And then we're both reading a newspaper for science articles.  I should watch what I eat before bed.