ever needed a quick line to get you out of a fight?

well here are a few you can use

"I have the AIDS"

"Look! an ice cream truck!"

"let's make this quick i gotta go to church in a little bit"

"I actually had a sex change, so if you hit me you are actually hitting a girl"

"hey hey hey, what would jesus/buddha/ghandi/the pope do?"

"here's five bucks, don't hit me"

"..let me just get my gun"

"oh officer thank god you came...." then run like hell

pretending to talk on phone "sorry honey, i cant get dinner im gonna get my ass kicked. that was my daughter, i have 12 ya know"

"i just watched Ip man, prepare to die"

"i know chuck norris"

"look its your mom" then run

"this is my son" lady "give me my kid back" "damn"

"google is watching you!!!"

feel free to add to the list