As I am typing this story I can slightly feel the 6 staples in my head. They don't hurt, but they definitely don't feel very good.

    To start I'll give you a small bit of background. I live in eastern Pennsylvania, right next to the Delaware River. On weekdays I work as an intern, and on weekends I go to the river to wakeboard. I won't consider myself a great wakeboarder, but I can do a handful of tricks, and most importantly I just love the feeling of riding on the water.

    It's around 6 p.m. on the Fourth of July.

    The river tends to get a bit more crowded on holidays and this was no exception, but it seemed that most families were inside for dinner. I asked my girlfriend, Emily, if she would drive the SeaDoo and take me wakeboarding. She knows that I get pissed when she says "No", so she agrees. After riding for a few minutes I'm almost ready to go back to the dock, but I want to get a few more passes in while the water is calm. As we go past a boat in the middle of the river and I wave to them and then turn my head to focus again on the water. I cut towards the wake and do a 180 in the air, landing slightly off balanced with the nose of my board an inch under the water.

    Now I don't know how many people reading this have ever tried water sports, but having any part of the board you are riding under the water while the boat is in motion usually doesn't end up well. This was no exception.

    The pull from the SeaDoo yanked me forward and I felt my chest hit the water, the pain of water hitting my eyes, and a 'bonk' on the back of my head. Apperently I didn't shut my eyes in time and I payed for it by losing my left contact. More importantly, the force of the fall was enough to pull the left binding off my foot, but I slowed down quickly enough for the right one to stay on. The board, still attached to my right foot, swung around and hit me in the head. I reached back and touched the part of my head where the wakeboard hit and when I brought my hand back around my fingers were covered in blood. I turned toward Emily and signaled to her with my bloody hand to come pick me up. When she got closer and saw the blood on my face she started to bawl. I climbed onto the back of the SeaDoo with my board in my hand and she quickly drove back to our dock.

    I'm going to sum up the next 45 minutes because they aren't that exciting: My head wouldn't stop bleeding, the neighbors crowded on the dock staring at my head, two nearby nurses and a doctor said I needed stiches, Emily cried like I was about to die, and my parents drove me to a nearby hospital in New Jersey.

    It's now around 7 p.m. and I'm at Warren Hospital.

    We happened to be the first people to the hospital, and I got my papers signed at the front desk in no time. Before I could sit down I was brought into a small room and laid down on the hospital bed. My doctor seemed to be in a bad mood, I figured it was because his balding white scalp contrasted his black hair, but possibly he just didn't want to work on the holiday. He pulled on my hair to get a closer look at the cut, and told me I needed staples.

    Now I'm picturing my black metal stapler at work puncturing through 8 sheets of senior citizens tax papers, so you can imagine how my stomach felt. I involuntarily laid back on the bed while the doctor trotted on his merry way to get the stapler, needles, and whatever else he could use to hurt me. When he returnes he put a towel on the pillow for me, and prepares his needle with Lidocaine.

    Reader Advisory: Don't read this next paragraph if you don't like needles.

    Doctor Pain tells me that I will feel a poke and then a burning sensation. He was right. After sticking the needle into my head 4 times before I was numb enough to not feel it anymore he walked back to his desk and brought back a syringe of Saline to clean the wound. Although it didn't hurt, I could feel him lift my skin and a cold feeling under my hair. After that he went back to the desk for the stapler. I felt a small amount of pressure on my head as if somebody was poking my with two fingers, and heard a quiet 'click'. This proceeded 6 times until he was done.

    Once again I'll sum up the boring parts: we signed a few papers, the mens room was taken so I pissed in the girls toilet at the hospital for the first time, and my parents drove me back to Emily's house.

    9:30 p.m. at my girlfriend's house.

    I knew the Lidocaine is wearing off because my head is starting to hurt like hell. I take 2 Advil P.M. and layed down on her bed. I layed there mad as hell because I didn't get to see the fireworks, but by 10 p.m. I was sleeping like a baby.