1)Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2)You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
3)You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
4)If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
5)Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
6)Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
7)Same work, more pay.
8)Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
9)Wedding dress: $2,000. Tuxedo rental: $75.
10)If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
11)You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
12)The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
13)Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.