Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.