Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.

If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.