1. John F. Kennedy was not assassinated. After the bullet was fired, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the bullet away. Kennedy's head exploded out of shear amazement.

2. Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

3. When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't pushing himself up, he's pushing the world down.

4. There are two types of people in the world: Losers and Chuck Norris.

5. Chuck Norris' hand is the only one that can beat a Royal Flush.

6. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

7. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of his head.

8. America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.