One day little Johnny comes upon his grandfather enjoying a beer. Johnny asks, "Granpa, can I have some of your beer?" To which his grandfather replies, "Well that all depends, can your dick touch your asshole?" Slightly shocked, Johnny says, "No, grandpa" "Then you're not man enough" his grandfather replies promptly.
The next day Johnny sees his Grandfather smoking a cigar. He asks him, "Grandpa, may I smoke a cigar?" Again his grandfather replies "Can your dick touch your asshole?" and, again, Johnny says no.
The third day Johnny's grandfather sees little Johnny eating some fresh baked cookies. He says, "Hey there Johnny, can you give me a cookie?"
Johnny asks, "I don't know grandpa, can your dick touch your asshole?"
His grandfather proudly replies, "Why yes, yes it can"
Johnny says, "Well then go fuck yourself, because grandma made these cookies for me"