For the Mothers...
osiris0900
Published
02/03/2009
This is for those mothers of boys, sisters of boys, and boys who have grown older and anyone else who needs a laugh.
* A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
* If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
* A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
* If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
* You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
* The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
* When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.
* Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
* A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
* Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
* Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
* Super glue is forever.
* No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
* Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
* VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
* Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
* Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
* You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
* Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
* The fire department in Austin TX has a 5-minute response time.
* The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
* It will, however, make cats dizzy.
* Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
* 80% of Women will tell almost all of their friends this information, with or without kids.
* 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
* A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
* If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
* A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
* If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
* You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
* The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
* When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.
* Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
* A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
* Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
* Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
* Super glue is forever.
* No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
* Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
* VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
* Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
* Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
* You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
* Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
* The fire department in Austin TX has a 5-minute response time.
* The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
* It will, however, make cats dizzy.
* Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
* 80% of Women will tell almost all of their friends this information, with or without kids.
* 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
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