-Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.

-Chuck Noris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

-Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas when he goes to sleep.

-Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

-Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

-They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

-Chuck Norris CAN eat just one Lay's potato chip.

-Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around him.

-There is no such thing as a lesbian, there are just girls who have never met Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.

-Chuck Norris invented the beard.

-When Chuck Norris picks his nose, he REALLY does find Gold.

-Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

-Chuck Norris once had sex in an 18 wheeler and a little bit of sperm got in the gas tank, we now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

-Texas does not have a police force. They have Chuck Norris.

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

-Chuck Norris's penis is so big that it has a penis of its own and it is still bigger than yours.

-Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

-Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

-What came first, the chicken or the egg? Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris's cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.