Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?

Neither did she.

How do you punish Helen Keller?

Rearrange the furniture or give her a basketball to read.

Why did Helen Keller's dog jump off a cliff and kill itself?

You would too if your name was alfddkasfieeahi.

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she's a woman. (sorry to those ladies out there)

How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret?

Break her fingers.

Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?

So she can moan with the other.

Note: If I offended anyone...good.