Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?
Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on COPS?
Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
I pay your salary.
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far they are ahead of me.
Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds.
So uh, you on the take or what?
Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's night stand.
You're not going to check the trunk, are you?