Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
Order a one-inch pizza.
Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
Order a steamed pizza.
Order term life insurance.
Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.
Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.
Play a sitar in the background.
Psychoanalyze the order taker.
Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
Put them on hold.
Quote Carl Sandberg.
Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.
Rent a pizza.
Report a petty theft to the order taker.
Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"
Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.
Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
Say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."
Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"
Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.
Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."
Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"
Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."
State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
Stutter on the letter "p."
Teach the order taker a scret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.
Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
Try to talk while drinking something.
Use CB lingo where applicable.
Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."
Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.
When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."
When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
When you'ge given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.
Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.
Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.