A man was sitting on a bench waiting for the bus and noticed another man across the street in a lawn chair.

He saw a beautiful woman walk by the man in the lawn chair, the man said something to this woman and she looked at him and they both went into the man's apartment.

The next day this man noticed the same thing happen, but the day after he noticed a woman look back at the man in disgust and he'd say something else and she would continue walking.

Curious, the first man walked across the street to this ladies man. He asked, "what do you say to get all of these beautiful woman to go to your room with you, and what do you say when they are offended so they don't slap you?"

The ladies man said, "simple, when a beautiful woman walks by you say 'tickle your ass with a feather?' if she understands you and likes the idea, she will go to your room. if she turns in disgust, you simply say 'typical Nebraska weather'. then she would assume she just misheard you and keep walking."

This was a great idea, so he walked back across the street and sat back down on the bench from which he came.

He saw a woman coming down the street, big boobs, Nice legs, blonde hair, gorgeous. He all of a sudden got very, very nervous.

As she walked by him he stuttered "Ummm.... stick a feather up your ass?"

"What did you say to me??"

"Uhh...LOOK AT THAT FUCKING CLOUD!"