He said, what have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said, turn sideways and look in the mirror!

On a wall in a ladies room, "My husband follows me everywhere".
Written just below it said, "I do not."

What is the difference between men and government bonds?
The bonds mature.

Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know; it has never happened.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.

Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in the bed and go to the fridge.

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says. "Why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."