These dank memes know what exactly they did. A series of poor life decisions had landed them here.

You know how it goes, you make a new buddy at a card game and before you know it, you're both swiping the colonel's private reserve and getting buck wild with the general's daughter in the canteen after lights out. That only escalates further because you love the thrill so you start stealing army vehicles and selling them for parts. You know the consequences will be insane if you get caught but ever since you were a kid there was just something inside you that hates authority - which makes your decision to join the military even weirder.

Suddenly, you've boosted an antique Panzer tank that your battalion captured way back when and putting it for sale on eBay. By this time you've impregnated the general's daughter and had a shotgun wedding, so when the consequences of your actions catch up to you, you're insulated enough to avoid serious jail time but get discharged. Oh, well.