Not mine but my ex wife once peed on Jon Bon Jovi. She was 2 years old. Her uncle did charter fishing tours and I guess he was into it at the time. They asked if he wanted to see the baby. He held her and she picked that time to pee.

Back when Avril Lavigne was newly famous, I was walking to the Art Gallery of Ontario in Toronto. There was a woman in front of me with her ass-crack hanging out, wearing punk clothes. I said to my friend: 'Oh, look: It's another fucking Avril wannabe.' The woman turned around and shouted: 'I AM AVRIL!' And it was.

Met my favorite hockey player. I was very flustered. And so i turned to him and said "soooo....do you like hockey?" What a pick up line.

When I lived in New York City, I used to live in the same building as Regis Philbin. It was July 2007, and I had just taken the Graduate Record Examinations for the first time. I did terribly (you get your scores right after the test is finished), and I was really, really mad. So, I decided to go to the gym when I got back to my apartment. I got home, changed my clothes, was still fuming, and got in the elevator (keep in mind that I was still in a terrible mood). I had to fart really badly and was just like: 'Fuck it. Who cares? I failed my GRE, nothing can be worse.' So I let one rip, and it remains one of the most foul farts I have ever released (I mean, rotten-egg smell). It made my eyes water. So, I am in the elevator alone choking on my own fart when suddenly the elevator stopped and opened, and who should get on but Regis Philbin. My fart flew at him and engulfed him, and I had no one to blame it on — it was obviously me. I was horrified, I turned bright red, and ran out of the elevator. So, yeah: That is how I met Regis for the first time!

I live in the same building as Kate Mulgrew from Star Trek: Voyager, and she called my father for help with her leaking sink (he's the super). Since none of my brothers were around, he asked me to come up and help him. So while my dad was carefully removing the pipe, the water started leaking more frequently. He told me he had to run downstairs and get some more tools, and told me to place a bucket under the sink and wait for him. As soon as he left, a stream of water started coming out of the pipe. I grabbed a monkey wrench and got under the sink, and I ended up turning the pipe the wrong way. I pulled so hard that whatever leftover water and gook was in there spilled all over my face. Just then, I heard the kitchen door open and I thought it was my dad. I sat up quickly from under the sink, hit my head, cursed loudly, and looked up at Daniel Radcliffe. Fuck. Daniel Radcliffe: [Smirking]: 'Oh, hey, do you need help down there? Me: 'No, I just did something stupid. Hey, you're Harry Potter, right? (I was trying to act all cool). DR: 'I get that a lot, but no.' Me: 'You ARE fucking with me, right?' DR: 'You hit your head just now — you might be delusional.' Kate Mulgrew then walked in... KM: 'Hey, I see you've met Daniel! Here's that bucket you asked for!' DR: [Muttered goodbye and left quickly] It turned out that Kate Mulgrew was holding a post-Equus dinner party, thus why Daniel Radcliffe was there.

Went to an LA Kings hockey game. Had great seats right down by the ice. Steven Spielberg was right in front of me. I noticed him, but left him alone. Late in the game the Kings scored a go-ahead goal. It was very exciting and I started trading high fives with people all around me. In my zeal I put my hand up by Spielberg — he looked appalled and left my high five hanging there. Very awkward.

A group of my friends were eating at a dining hall at the same university Emma Watson went to. One of them started excitedly describing how she had spent her break rereading the Harry Potter books — as she was talking about all of her favorite parts, Emma Watson sat down in the booth directly behind her. My friend didn't notice, but the people across from her did. They goaded her into continuing this line of discussion for about 15 minutes before Emma finally got up and left. My friend was mortified.

I used to work event security, I was working backstage at a N-Sync concert. Now they had been there all day, multiple sound checks they put in work before a show. I also had barely any clue about the groups playing that night. So nice car pulls up out pop a really attractive blonde, big body guard next to her. Body guard is carrying 2 backstage passes so I just hit them with a polite can you make sure you're wearing them the bands have arrived. Dude flashes me a look, the girl just says ok smiles and waves. Few minutes later my boss comes out with the principals sheet. I just asked Brittny spears to wear a backstage pass. Boss thought it was hilarious I'd told him multiple times I didn't listen to pop music I have no idea who the people are I don't think he realized till that moment how serious I was. Little more. N-sync had been there all day. We were on station at 5:30 and the tour bus was already there. Us backstage guys ended up interacting with them quite a bit. So when they left and JT gave me a signed backstage pass I thought nothing of it. Just a nice little thanks for throwing the nerf ball with us. Wasn't till I showing it to a friend of mine she noticed Brittany signed it as well. I had no clue they were dating. Maybe a little shade in that gift.

Worked security for the rich and famous in the late 90s in Arizona. Had to pull duty at the main entrance. No one was around. Usually people did not walk around the entrance. They drove though. I was blasting System of a Down while doing my college homework. Out of nowhere Sandra Bullock walks up to me and asks. What band am I listening to and why are they so angry? I was in shock. I apologized and turned my radio down. I thought I was going to loose my job. She smiled and casually walked away.

My family was actually in Hawaii when Pearl Harbor was being shot and Cuba Gooding Jr. was staying in our hotel. The first night we went down to the pool and there he was in the hot tub with a plethora of hot women. Instead of the usual... "Hey Cuba! I loved Snow Dogs!" I said, "Aren't you married?" I immediately regretted it.

I hurt Han Solo's feelings. I was walking down 3rd St. Promenade in Santa Monica, and my girlfriend looked up and said: 'Look! There's Harrison Ford over there!' I looked up and said I didn't see him. My girlfriend pointed adamantly and loudly: 'Over there! It's Han Solo!' My response was: 'What — that old guy?' at which point Harrison Ford looked directly at me — he had heard. His face dropped, and I feel bad to this day.

I was part of a college press circuit doing a group interview of the stars of Death To Smoochy. At the end of the whole thing, which took place in a hotel in L.A., I was waiting for the valet to bring my car up. Prepared for this, I had a five dollar bill folded and palmed, ready to give a tip. Next thing you know, Robin Williams came out to wait for his SUV, we made eye contact and he went to shake my hand. Starstruck and forgetful of my fiver, I shook his hand and slipped it in his. He just stared at it for a second, looking at it, then back at me, then back at it, and had a look on his face akin to "You want me to tell a joke or something?" We had a good awkward laugh about it and parted ways.

Was at a funeral with Stevie Wonder for a mutual acquaintance, and my dad awkwardly went up and was like "Um, Mr. Wonder, I love your music, it affected my life a lot when I was younger," and it was just painful.

Standing in front of a hotel with Will Ferrel, awkwardly looking at him recognizing that I recognized him. He was cool though…I however was not.

I was visiting New York City and walking around with friends — it was pretty late, but the streets were still bustling. We walked by a group of people crowding by this building and asked them what was going on. Well, it was the GE Building (30 Rock, if you will) and Saturday Night Live just ended. The people were waiting to get their picture taken with the cast and get an autograph. Just as this was being explained to us, Tina Fey walked out (this was before 30 Rock, so she wasn't as famous yet — but she was my favorite member of the SNL cast at the time). So, I eagerly asked her for a picture. She's fairly small and I'm a pretty big guy, so I thought the picture would be hilarious. Well, just as we were taking the picture, I accidentally stepped on her toes really hard. I was apologetic, but she was clearly (and rightfully) unhappy and walked away. The picture was just her grimacing in pain.

I was at a large book event and I had picked up a book and stood in line to pay. Or so I thought. Turns out I was actually standing in line to a book signing with a very famous author. The one I had picked up was not by him.

Many years ago I walked into an elevator at the Hyatt in Vancouver and Chuck Norris was standing there with what I was told later, his brother. They glared at me and I got the message loud and clear that they wanted to be left alone. In the summer, Kim Coates is my neighbor……I had no idea who he was for years and used to tell him some pretty f****d up jokes when I was drunk. He’s a nice guy and we all leave him alone.

My mum was at the airport browsing the newspapers at a kiosk and some guy reached past her head really close to grab something. He said sorry and took it to go pay. My mum was a bit annoyed until she saw it was Peirce Brosnan.

I almost got ran over by Hugh Laurie. I glared at him, he held up his hands in apology, and we went our separate ways.

I was walking into a deli in NYC and almost walked straight into Terence Stamp as he was walking out. It was a moment of awkwardness that you would have with anyone that you just almost walked right into. Our eyes locked for just a moment (and that’s when I fully understood the phrase “piercing blue eyes”), and I stepped out of his way and held the door. He was about 15 feet away when I realized who he was, but I thought it would be tasteless to run after him.